You may believe an ugly divorce is inevitable, but that is not necessarily true. If you and your ex both dedicate yourselves, you may be able to have a peaceful divorce. It is possible to be decent to one another and minimize the grief.
Ending your marriage without a drawn-out battle may sound implausible, but you may be surprised. Here are a few steps to take to achieve a civil and smooth split.
Pick your battles
You do not need to fight for weeks over who gets the couch. If you spend your time arguing over every little detail, you will only end up wasting your time, money and emotions. Rather than bickering over every issue, figure out your non-negotiables and go from there.
Focus on the big picture
If you have children, put their needs first. Think about how every decision you make will impact their future. Even if you do not have kids, consider your own emotional wellbeing. Will you really feel better if you lash out? Do not let revenge or anger be your motivators.
Ask for support
It will be difficult for you to control your emotions and have a clear head during your divorce. Reach out to family members and friends who will support you through the ups and downs. You may even consider seeing a therapist so you can be calm and level-headed during negotiations.
Choose a more friendly divorce method
You do not need to go with a traditional court battle. One option is to have an uncontested divorce. The uncontested divorce process is much less contentious than standard litigation. This will help you focus on the goal of remaining peaceful. If you go with litigation, you may get stuck in the mindset of trying to get revenge.
Peacefully divorcing is possible for some couples. Even if it doesn’t work out and you need to go to court, you can at least say you tried to keep things as healthy as possible.